Adrian Mole.

The other night I woke at 3a.m. and was distraught to discover that there wasn't a single Opal Fruit in the flat. I tramped the streets of Soho looking for them. Within two minutes of leaving home I was offered lesbian sex, heroin and a Rolex watch, but an innocent packet of Opal Fruits took over half an hour to track down. What does it tell us about the world we live in?

Adrian Mole.

I am twenty-four and one day old. Question: What have I done with my life? Answer: Nothing. Grahame Greene died today. I wrote to him four years ago, pointing out a grammatical error in his book, The Human Factor. He didn’t reply.